Friday, July 23, 2010

Why I shouldn't date anyone with a J name

I've never had any luck with guys who have names that start with J.

(Women, on the other hand, are fine. There's my sister, of course, who after she stopped beating me up became my best friend. And my other best friend, who's a J. And several others. So don't get mad yet, I acknowledge that female J's are fine.)

Here are all the examples I can come up with sitting here right now, I'm sure there are more, but I think it's enough to win the argument:

J#1: My Dad. So okay, I didn't DATE my dad. But my parents got divorced when I was three. He moved out of state when I was 8. While we have a good relationship now, it took a long time to get there. Many would argue (and I would likely agree) that he's the reason I have a fear of abandonment. When my dad moved out of state, I was mad at him for a long time, and so far I haven't met that good guy who hasn't also left me. And yes, I do think that my dad IS a good guy. But I'm still going to keep him on this list, okay?

J#2: I knew him through a summer program in high school. He should have been my first kiss but was too chicken, so that honor went to a guy named Eugene (I know). The following summer I was actually J#2's first kiss (he finally got up the courage). Then we got set-up when I lived in Houston post-Katrina and dated for a month, it was fun. After that month he said we didn't want the "same thing" so broke up with me. Well I didn't want to marry him and I was leaving Houston soon after, so unless HE wanted a long-term thing my guess is we did want the same thing, but whatever.

J#3: Was in high school, he lived in Memphis, I lived in Birmingham. He wanted to date, I didn't. He wrote me a long letter one summer about how the long-distance thing could work. I said fine. We talked on the phone. I went to Memphis. Then it was his turn to come to B'ham. He didn't want to, so we broke up. I told him I was right about the long-distance thing not working. Should have ended there, but instead he started spreading rumors about me within our region of the youth group. Not true rumors. Not sure why he did that, but luckily most people knew better than to believe him.

J#4: College. He was super religious when we started dating. It was a super intense relationship. Then we broke up. Then he became not religious. It's weird.

J#2, part 2: Med School - Dated him again, see above.

J#5: Med school. This guy totally broke my heart. Still hurts to talk about it. He swept me off my feet and I thought we were getting married. He ultimately chose his job over me, to make a long story short.

J#6: Residency - I dated this guy for over 2 years. Turns out my family and friends hated him and he didn't treat me well. I defended him the whole time. His mom hated me, too. Real winner. I could write a lot more but it's not worth it.

J#7: I had coffee with a guy recently whom I was set up with through a website that uses Matchmakers. (You don't get to peruse the profiles, only the matchmakers do, and then they suggest matches. I have it set-up so the guy has to approve me first, then I can approve him, then he gets my contact info.) So I met this guy for coffee and we talked for 90 minutes. I wasn't so attracted to him (big, lanky red-head) but it was a nice chat, I would have seen him again. He told me he was leaving town the next day for business so I figured I wouldn't hear from him for a few days anyway. About 4 days later I go onto the website and he's closed our match. Really, you couldn't have the decency to at least e-mail me to say it was nice meeting me but you don't want to see me again?? After a 90 minute coffee date?? Maybe if we'd had nothing to chat about or something.

J#8: From the same site, I was set up with this other guy who sounded promising. Good job, did a lot of volunteer work too. We e-mailed, texted. He was hard to pin down but kept saying he was really interested in seeing me. So finally we met for drinks and it was a really fun date, he was extremely flirty the entire time. Texted me all that night until I finally said I had to go to sleep. Texted all the next day. Invited me for Shabbos dinner with some friends, which was fun. I basically didn't hear from him for several days after that so I emailed him and he writes back to say sorry he didn't get back to me, he had "a great time" with me both times, but didn't think we were "soul-mates." Really, dude? After two short experiences, where you had a "great time," you are ready to write someone off as not your soul-mate and you don't want to see them again?

And in general, what's with guys just not knowing how to communicate??!!

I'm sure I've dated other J's in the past, but these 7 stand out. So I think I'm done. No more J's. Anyone object?

2 comments:

  1. I've had really good experience with L's.

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  2. The "Real Winner" comment about J#6 made me laugh outloud. That dude sux.

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