Hello loyal readers. Wondering where I've been and what I've been up to? This month has been busy with birthdays....mine and S's. I had a fabulous birthday, mainly because I was surrounded by so many wonderful people. I threw myself a couple parties -- a New Year's Eve Shabbos dinner, complete with a countdown to midnight, and then a dinner and bowling party the following night (my actual birthday). A lot of my favorite people were there, and I realized that I haven't had a real birthday party -- not just dinner out with some friends -- since I turned 21. Ten years is too long between parties! It was so fun.
S made it wonderful, of course. He was kinda upset I was throwing myself a party (but I had planned this months ahead of time with a half-off coupon from "Buywithme"), but he bought me a gorgeous necklace that I wear everyday (a horseshoe shape with little diamonds), and that a couple of my friends figured I must have picked out myself. And his just being there made it fabulous, for the entirety of the celebration. And then it was his birthday, just 18 days later! I surprised him with a dinner & jazz cruise around Manhattan a few days ago, which we both loved -- our first time actually dancing together (not "club" dancing, but really dancing). I may have led some, sorry. And on the night of his birthday, we saw "American Idiot," with Billie Joe Armstrong in the cast, and had a lovely dinner. His main gift he got before our cruise -- an iPod Nano, his first iPod -- but he also got a scarf, and gloves from my Mom, and I put some portraits from our cruise into picture frames for us each to have. He was blown away and said it was the best b'day he's ever had. So we are both kinda buzzing with happiness.
And now for the jolt. Last night I came home and was chatting with some people I know in my building, then I turned around to check my mail in the (temporary during construction) mailroom and I heard a familiar voice, so I turned and saw someone on his cellphone, the profile of a familiar face -- J6. He was checking mail. In my mailroom. I did an about-face and walked as fast as I could to my elevator and hit the "close" button a gazillion times and I'm pretty certain he didn't see me.
So what was that? He's living in my building now? After telling me he'd never leave NJ, never live in the city, he moves into the city and of all places picks MY building?? Which isn't even a rental building, but they are condos and you have to rent from an owner? And it's fairly expensive, and he's a cheap bastard. Seriously, I wrote this guy OUT OF MY LIFE for a reason. He's a jerk. And I'm just so happy and healthy and better off without him even in my peripheral vision. I haven't even thought about him in months. And then JOLT -- there he is. I could run into him at any moment! Every day. And that would also mean he's also infiltrating my community -- trying to get into the UWS, which he always hated. I could see him at Shabbos dinners, or Onegs, or whatever. Gross.
And then, of course, I was upset at myself for getting upset. Because why was I letting him get to me like this? Because like I said, I'm in a much better place now. I'm in this incredible relationship with this incredible person. I have a great job, and I love my apartment. But ew, gross, now my apartment might not be at the top of the things I love anymore if it could mean seeing him. Small talk. Yuck.
I fell asleep finally last night and had pleasant dreams, actually, until the snowplows woke me up at 5:30am. I thought I wouldn't fall back asleep but apparently I did, because then I had a dream that I ran into him in the parking lot (in my dream it was a covered parking lot), and I was with a friend, and he saw us and then HE was the one running away because he didn't want me to know he was living there. That would be a better situation. But I was so careful to make sure he didn't know where I was moving. He was basically stalking me at the end, when he was trying to win me back. I didn't want him to have access to me.
I could totally face him. I'm not worried about that. Seeing him once would be no big deal. Fine. But seeing him all the time? What would you do if suddenly your ex moved in downstairs? Shudder shudder. I'm seriously hoping I'm wrong and it was just his doppelganger. Please, please.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Happy New Year!
I want to tell you about our cruise, but first I want to talk to you about the new year. Some of you may know that January 1st is my birthday. So while a new year means a lot of things to a lot of people -- you all make new year's resolutions, and think about how this year is going to be so great, and all that fun stuff, every year when the clock strikes midnight, it's more than just a new calendar year for me. It's a brand new ACTUAL year for me for as well. I'm getting a year older, it's a new start, a fresh slate, as much as one can possibly have.
2010 was not what I expected to be. If on December 31, 2009, you asked me to predict the 10 things I thought would happen in 2010, I probably would have lost on at least 8 of them. But looking back on it, it was an amazing year for me and I couldn't be in a better place right now! Let's look at all the fabulous things that happened to me:
1) I went on an amazing vacation with my Mom (a cruise with just the 2 of us, then we joined up with my sister and my stepmother in Texas)
2) I broke up with a boyfriend of 2+ years who was a good-for-nothing, whom none of my friends or family liked, and with whom I was going nowhere fast. Everyday I realize how bad he was for me, how bad I was with him, and how glad I am that that ended -- and I just wish it had ended sooner. Oh well.
3) I made some amazing new friends on the UWS and actually started to become part of a community here
4) I was diagnosed with a medical condition I didn't realize I had, but as a result of that I don't get the daily headaches I didn't realize were so bothersome, I don't drink any more sodas, I rarely drink caffeine, I drink a lot more water, and I generally feel pretty great
5) I found an amazing new apartment that I love -- it's a grown up apartment with grown up furniture! I have a kitchen, a dining room table, a couch, a view! Oh, and a doorman! These are things that make you an adult in NYC.
6) I got the fellowship I wanted, at the place where I wanted. There are days when it sucks, but I generally enjoy it, and it's (hopefully) getting me to where I want to go. I love the teaching/precepting part of it. I'm 25% done! And best of all, I don't work nights or weekends anymore!!
7) I got to go home (to Alabama) for both Passover AND Rosh Hashanah this year, as well as Thanksgiving. That was truly a treat, since during medical school and residency I worked for so many of the holidays.
8) I've gotten to spend some time with my younger sister, who although she's only 28 months old, she's incredibly cute and smart (definitely takes after me). I can't wait to watch her grow up and develop a real relationship with her -- it's fun being an older sister!
9) Although I still have more weight to lose, I did lose (and keep off) 20 lbs this summer. I gained a lot during residency (80 hour work weeks will do that to you), and it felt good to take some of it off. Keeping it off has felt even better.
10) The best for last -- S has truly been the highlight of my year. I couldn't have expected him, but he's everything I could ask for. While he's certainly not perfect, we understand each other and make each other happy. Is there anything more to say than that? Whether we are on a Caribbean cruise or just sitting on my couch watching a movie, it's perfect. :-)
So here's to an even better 2011. I don't know what's in store, and frankly I don't care. I've learned that I'm better off not trying to guess and just going with what life decides to throw at me -- hopefully it will be at least as good, if not better, than 2010.
2010 was not what I expected to be. If on December 31, 2009, you asked me to predict the 10 things I thought would happen in 2010, I probably would have lost on at least 8 of them. But looking back on it, it was an amazing year for me and I couldn't be in a better place right now! Let's look at all the fabulous things that happened to me:
1) I went on an amazing vacation with my Mom (a cruise with just the 2 of us, then we joined up with my sister and my stepmother in Texas)
2) I broke up with a boyfriend of 2+ years who was a good-for-nothing, whom none of my friends or family liked, and with whom I was going nowhere fast. Everyday I realize how bad he was for me, how bad I was with him, and how glad I am that that ended -- and I just wish it had ended sooner. Oh well.
3) I made some amazing new friends on the UWS and actually started to become part of a community here
4) I was diagnosed with a medical condition I didn't realize I had, but as a result of that I don't get the daily headaches I didn't realize were so bothersome, I don't drink any more sodas, I rarely drink caffeine, I drink a lot more water, and I generally feel pretty great
5) I found an amazing new apartment that I love -- it's a grown up apartment with grown up furniture! I have a kitchen, a dining room table, a couch, a view! Oh, and a doorman! These are things that make you an adult in NYC.
6) I got the fellowship I wanted, at the place where I wanted. There are days when it sucks, but I generally enjoy it, and it's (hopefully) getting me to where I want to go. I love the teaching/precepting part of it. I'm 25% done! And best of all, I don't work nights or weekends anymore!!
7) I got to go home (to Alabama) for both Passover AND Rosh Hashanah this year, as well as Thanksgiving. That was truly a treat, since during medical school and residency I worked for so many of the holidays.
8) I've gotten to spend some time with my younger sister, who although she's only 28 months old, she's incredibly cute and smart (definitely takes after me). I can't wait to watch her grow up and develop a real relationship with her -- it's fun being an older sister!
9) Although I still have more weight to lose, I did lose (and keep off) 20 lbs this summer. I gained a lot during residency (80 hour work weeks will do that to you), and it felt good to take some of it off. Keeping it off has felt even better.
10) The best for last -- S has truly been the highlight of my year. I couldn't have expected him, but he's everything I could ask for. While he's certainly not perfect, we understand each other and make each other happy. Is there anything more to say than that? Whether we are on a Caribbean cruise or just sitting on my couch watching a movie, it's perfect. :-)
So here's to an even better 2011. I don't know what's in store, and frankly I don't care. I've learned that I'm better off not trying to guess and just going with what life decides to throw at me -- hopefully it will be at least as good, if not better, than 2010.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I forgot about the TV stuff
My title yesterday said I was going to talk about TV, and then I didn't. See, I'm a failure!
Anyway, I'm way behind on TV viewing for this year. S doesn't really watch TV -- he didn't grow up on it the way that I did, and doesn't really understand that it's my stress relief at the end of a long day. I can get him to sit and watch certain shows with me, like "House" and "SVU," but you can't start someone on "Fringe" 3 seasons in, and he'd never go for shows like "Grey's Anatomy" or "Desperate Housewives." On top of that, there were the Jewish Holidays and my boards that ate up a lot of my time, and my Masters classes that go til late 4 nights a week, and I'm always playing catch-up with my DVR. So I stopped taping the shows that were On-Demand -- namely the ones that are on NBC and CBS.
But then I never got around to watching them On Demand, and it turns out they only keep 2 episodes. And Hulu only keeps 5 -- and somehow I'm 10 episodes behind. Big problem for shows that I've loved for years -- "Chuck," "30 Rock," "The Office," and new favorites like "The Good Wife" and "Parenthood." I'm not sure how legal it is, but I subscribed to Graboid and watched 4 episodes of "Chuck" last week when I was sick for a day.
The only new show this season that I've watched is "The Event," which S and I have watched together because I thought it would be fun to have a show to watch together -- but we are about 5 weeks behind, mainly because neither of us are aching to watch it ever. We put it on out of boredom. Does anyone else watch that?
What I think is important here -- if you can read between the lines -- is that all my life, TV has been extremely important to me. Like, don't talk to me, I'm watching my shows. And since meeting S, it's seriously fallen to the wayside. I'd rather spend time with him than watching TV, and maybe it's because now I have a dining table, but we don't even usually eat in front of the TV. When I'm really tired, I'll tell him we are ordering in dinner and eating in front of the TV. And when I'm stressed out, I'll tell him I need a night of catching up and he can either watch my shows with me or leave me to it. But there's a reason that my DVR is 100% full all the time!
But here are my grades: "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice" have been far better this season than the past couple years. Loving them. "Glee" is amazing. I watch those shows each week and don't usually fall behind on them. "Desperate Housewives" is silly but I keep watching anyway. "House" is going to have to find a way to make Huddy interesting before I want to stop watching. "Fringe" is fascinating and she deserves an Emmy for playing both Olivias so well. "Bones" is as entertaining a ever. "SVU" never changes. "The Event" better be more interesting in the spring, if I can remember to come back to it after a 3 month hiatus. The 4 episodes of "Chuck" that I watched were great, and I am looking forward to catching up on the rest. What do y'all think? Am I missing any other great new shows?? I will say that I severely miss "Lost," and "24." Nothing comes close to replacing them.
Anyway, I'm way behind on TV viewing for this year. S doesn't really watch TV -- he didn't grow up on it the way that I did, and doesn't really understand that it's my stress relief at the end of a long day. I can get him to sit and watch certain shows with me, like "House" and "SVU," but you can't start someone on "Fringe" 3 seasons in, and he'd never go for shows like "Grey's Anatomy" or "Desperate Housewives." On top of that, there were the Jewish Holidays and my boards that ate up a lot of my time, and my Masters classes that go til late 4 nights a week, and I'm always playing catch-up with my DVR. So I stopped taping the shows that were On-Demand -- namely the ones that are on NBC and CBS.
But then I never got around to watching them On Demand, and it turns out they only keep 2 episodes. And Hulu only keeps 5 -- and somehow I'm 10 episodes behind. Big problem for shows that I've loved for years -- "Chuck," "30 Rock," "The Office," and new favorites like "The Good Wife" and "Parenthood." I'm not sure how legal it is, but I subscribed to Graboid and watched 4 episodes of "Chuck" last week when I was sick for a day.
The only new show this season that I've watched is "The Event," which S and I have watched together because I thought it would be fun to have a show to watch together -- but we are about 5 weeks behind, mainly because neither of us are aching to watch it ever. We put it on out of boredom. Does anyone else watch that?
What I think is important here -- if you can read between the lines -- is that all my life, TV has been extremely important to me. Like, don't talk to me, I'm watching my shows. And since meeting S, it's seriously fallen to the wayside. I'd rather spend time with him than watching TV, and maybe it's because now I have a dining table, but we don't even usually eat in front of the TV. When I'm really tired, I'll tell him we are ordering in dinner and eating in front of the TV. And when I'm stressed out, I'll tell him I need a night of catching up and he can either watch my shows with me or leave me to it. But there's a reason that my DVR is 100% full all the time!
But here are my grades: "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice" have been far better this season than the past couple years. Loving them. "Glee" is amazing. I watch those shows each week and don't usually fall behind on them. "Desperate Housewives" is silly but I keep watching anyway. "House" is going to have to find a way to make Huddy interesting before I want to stop watching. "Fringe" is fascinating and she deserves an Emmy for playing both Olivias so well. "Bones" is as entertaining a ever. "SVU" never changes. "The Event" better be more interesting in the spring, if I can remember to come back to it after a 3 month hiatus. The 4 episodes of "Chuck" that I watched were great, and I am looking forward to catching up on the rest. What do y'all think? Am I missing any other great new shows?? I will say that I severely miss "Lost," and "24." Nothing comes close to replacing them.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Movie Reviews (and some TV)
It's been awhile since I've talked about movies, but since I've seen 3 in the past 10 days, I thought it was time to do a little reviewing. Let me know your thoughts.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part 1: IMAX
Got to see this with my mom, sister, and S in the IMAX theater in B'ham (which is huge, and domed -- the latter kind of made the distortion a bit strange, however). The movie was incredible. I'm kinda glad they ended up making two movies, since they stuck to the book so closely -- would have been a shame to have cut out half the story to have kept it at one film, even though they are going to make oodles and oodles of money this way.
It's amazing to watch the actors grow up like we have, isn' t it? Go back and watch the first film (it'll be on TV a lot this month as part of ABC's "25 days of Xmas"). You really feel like they've matured -- just like Harry, Ron, and Hermione should have done. In this film, you really feel like they are finally THERE, finally ready to take on the true challenges facing them. The emotions were brutal, but honest.
S had never seen (or read) any of the HP movies before. I had him read the Sparknotes on the first 5 books, then we watched the 6th film on the way to B'ham before seeing this movie. Now he's hooked -- maybe I'll be able to get him to read the books, if I can tear him away from him law books. But certainly it won't be a problem to get him to see the last movie with me! I can't wait for it to come out. And in 3D! I'll probably have to see it both ways.
My grade: A- (the minus is only for making me wait 6 months for the next part, good thing I know how it ends)
Love and Other Drugs
The story of a pharmaceutical rep, and the girl with Parkinson's that he loves. Sounds kinda boring when you put it that way, doesn't it? Way more entertaining than that, but only because it's set in 1997/1998, right when Viagra came out, and said pharmaceutical rep was barely making it until he got to sell the magical blue pill. And that girl was anti-love until she fell in love with the guy who was just a player until he also fell in love.
Kind of a cliched love-story, but done very well. Anne Hathaway is fabulous in it, and Jake Gyllenhaal looks great naked (well, mostly naked). I personally thought the stuff with the Big Pharma was pretty funny, but only b/c in recent years it's all changed and they aren't allowed to just give out free pens/umbrellas/lunches/trips to Hawaii anymore, so it was fun to watch them teaching the reps the ways to the doctors' hearts by doing all those things.
My grade: B+
How Do You Know
We got to see a screening of this new movie (with Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, and Jack Nicholson) last night. It's the one where she's a softball player who loses her spot on the USA team, he's some kind of financial person who's being indicted by the justice system, and Owen Wilson plays the baseball player boyfriend she shouldn't be dating. (They do screenings for the press, and then try to fill up the seats so that people are laughing and booing at the right times, so it was free, yay!)
You can probably guess the storyline. Which is the worst part. The other bad parts are that they never really explain the indictment stuff (what he did wrong, or didn't do wrong; I think they don't want you to get bogged down in the details but the vagueness of it was driving me crazy). They also keep hinting at this idea that she's supposed to be depressed for losing her position on the team, but never show you that she's trying to do something else or that she's actually depressed in any way. So that was also extremely vague.
However, the relationships b/w Reese's character and both Paul's and Owen's characters were fabulous, funny and cute and likeable. Overall, it was a cute movie, and if you are looking for a fun romantic comedy then I'd recommend it.
My grade: B-
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part 1: IMAX
Got to see this with my mom, sister, and S in the IMAX theater in B'ham (which is huge, and domed -- the latter kind of made the distortion a bit strange, however). The movie was incredible. I'm kinda glad they ended up making two movies, since they stuck to the book so closely -- would have been a shame to have cut out half the story to have kept it at one film, even though they are going to make oodles and oodles of money this way.
It's amazing to watch the actors grow up like we have, isn' t it? Go back and watch the first film (it'll be on TV a lot this month as part of ABC's "25 days of Xmas"). You really feel like they've matured -- just like Harry, Ron, and Hermione should have done. In this film, you really feel like they are finally THERE, finally ready to take on the true challenges facing them. The emotions were brutal, but honest.
S had never seen (or read) any of the HP movies before. I had him read the Sparknotes on the first 5 books, then we watched the 6th film on the way to B'ham before seeing this movie. Now he's hooked -- maybe I'll be able to get him to read the books, if I can tear him away from him law books. But certainly it won't be a problem to get him to see the last movie with me! I can't wait for it to come out. And in 3D! I'll probably have to see it both ways.
My grade: A- (the minus is only for making me wait 6 months for the next part, good thing I know how it ends)
Love and Other Drugs
The story of a pharmaceutical rep, and the girl with Parkinson's that he loves. Sounds kinda boring when you put it that way, doesn't it? Way more entertaining than that, but only because it's set in 1997/1998, right when Viagra came out, and said pharmaceutical rep was barely making it until he got to sell the magical blue pill. And that girl was anti-love until she fell in love with the guy who was just a player until he also fell in love.
Kind of a cliched love-story, but done very well. Anne Hathaway is fabulous in it, and Jake Gyllenhaal looks great naked (well, mostly naked). I personally thought the stuff with the Big Pharma was pretty funny, but only b/c in recent years it's all changed and they aren't allowed to just give out free pens/umbrellas/lunches/trips to Hawaii anymore, so it was fun to watch them teaching the reps the ways to the doctors' hearts by doing all those things.
My grade: B+
How Do You Know
We got to see a screening of this new movie (with Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, and Jack Nicholson) last night. It's the one where she's a softball player who loses her spot on the USA team, he's some kind of financial person who's being indicted by the justice system, and Owen Wilson plays the baseball player boyfriend she shouldn't be dating. (They do screenings for the press, and then try to fill up the seats so that people are laughing and booing at the right times, so it was free, yay!)
You can probably guess the storyline. Which is the worst part. The other bad parts are that they never really explain the indictment stuff (what he did wrong, or didn't do wrong; I think they don't want you to get bogged down in the details but the vagueness of it was driving me crazy). They also keep hinting at this idea that she's supposed to be depressed for losing her position on the team, but never show you that she's trying to do something else or that she's actually depressed in any way. So that was also extremely vague.
However, the relationships b/w Reese's character and both Paul's and Owen's characters were fabulous, funny and cute and likeable. Overall, it was a cute movie, and if you are looking for a fun romantic comedy then I'd recommend it.
My grade: B-
Thursday, December 2, 2010
I'm a failure at blogging
But a success at so many other things! Well, maybe not right now. Right now, I'm also a failure at keeping up with many of my TV shows (I've managed to make it to November on my DVR, but only because I stopped recording shows I thought would be available On Demand. Except that it turns out that CBS and NBC only keep 2 episodes On Demand, and only 5 most recent episodes on Hulu, and I'm about 10 episodes behind on 5 or 6 important shows. Damn it!). And pretty much a failure at being a research fellow, b/c it's December and I haven't really done any research. Or even gotten trained for the IRB yet. By the end of next week I have to turn in a full protocol for my project -- a model, with methods, etc. Gross. But I did manage to complete my courses, although I have one more online-final to take, and my grades aren't back yet. And still waiting on my score for my Pediatrics boards.....
However, I am a very successful girlfriend! Things with S are going very well. I guess my blog has just become very boring, and for that I'm very sorry! He came home to Alabama for Thanksgiving and had such a great time, he didn't want to leave. He's ready to move there (but I'm not. Not even close. So don't get any ideas). He loves my family, all of them. Even the crazy ones. The only not great part happened when I got upset after we missed our connection and they had rebooked me on the next flight but not him (they had booked him on two more connections) -- he didn't like that I was upset instead of just "going with the flow," the way he is. When I finally explained WHY I had gotten upset -- that the guy on the phone had been rude to me, and that I felt like I should have called originally when I knew our flight from NYC was delayed, and was stupid for not listening to my Mom when she told me to call and didn't want her to say "told you so" -- he was understanding, and we had a good conversation about our different personalities when things like that happen. In the end, I gave up my seat on the flight I had been rebooked on in order to be fly with him on his TWO more flights -- and then we were another 2 hours delayed from Atlanta, so we traveled for 14 hours instead of 6. I must really truly like this guy!!
Next week I'm doing something I've never done before -- going on a vacation with my boyfriend. I've traveled with boyfriends before -- to see family, or with family. But never ONLY with a boyfriend. We are going on a cruise to the Caribbean -- it was an amazingly cheap deal, and we are both so excited (he's never been on a cruise before!). We are also going to meet the rest of the parents on either end, since we are going out of Ft. Lauderdale/Miami. We are doing some pretty active excursions (a waterfall hike, snuba, and another hike/snorkel trip), but I've warned him that the days at sea may require some down-time by the pool, and that we don't have to spend every minute with each other -- if he wants to go do something else (since there are so many activities on this ship!), he can. We'll see what happens, I'm guessing he just comes and sits next to me at the pool until I agree to go do something with him. Either way, it's going to be so much fun!!
However, I am a very successful girlfriend! Things with S are going very well. I guess my blog has just become very boring, and for that I'm very sorry! He came home to Alabama for Thanksgiving and had such a great time, he didn't want to leave. He's ready to move there (but I'm not. Not even close. So don't get any ideas). He loves my family, all of them. Even the crazy ones. The only not great part happened when I got upset after we missed our connection and they had rebooked me on the next flight but not him (they had booked him on two more connections) -- he didn't like that I was upset instead of just "going with the flow," the way he is. When I finally explained WHY I had gotten upset -- that the guy on the phone had been rude to me, and that I felt like I should have called originally when I knew our flight from NYC was delayed, and was stupid for not listening to my Mom when she told me to call and didn't want her to say "told you so" -- he was understanding, and we had a good conversation about our different personalities when things like that happen. In the end, I gave up my seat on the flight I had been rebooked on in order to be fly with him on his TWO more flights -- and then we were another 2 hours delayed from Atlanta, so we traveled for 14 hours instead of 6. I must really truly like this guy!!
Next week I'm doing something I've never done before -- going on a vacation with my boyfriend. I've traveled with boyfriends before -- to see family, or with family. But never ONLY with a boyfriend. We are going on a cruise to the Caribbean -- it was an amazingly cheap deal, and we are both so excited (he's never been on a cruise before!). We are also going to meet the rest of the parents on either end, since we are going out of Ft. Lauderdale/Miami. We are doing some pretty active excursions (a waterfall hike, snuba, and another hike/snorkel trip), but I've warned him that the days at sea may require some down-time by the pool, and that we don't have to spend every minute with each other -- if he wants to go do something else (since there are so many activities on this ship!), he can. We'll see what happens, I'm guessing he just comes and sits next to me at the pool until I agree to go do something with him. Either way, it's going to be so much fun!!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Family Matters
A few weeks ago, S met my first family members -- my uncle J and aunt G, who had come into town and invited me out to dinner (several months ago!). We had a fabulous time, S LOVED them and they apparently really liked them too b/c they called my Mom right away to tell her how great he was! But that was only the warm-up, because tonight he is going to meet my Mom. He told me last night that he wasn't nervous about it, but I'm not sure if that's true or not. Should he be? (One of my friends said that he's nervous FOR S, which I think is super cute.) But then he is coming home to Birmingham with me in a couple weeks for Thanksgiving and is going to meet the whole Mishpachah -- my sister, my grandparents, the cousins.
Meanwhile, I met one of his brothers, and uncle/aunt, and some cousins a couple weeks ago. I still haven't met his Dad yet (and both his Mom and my father live in South Florida, but we are hopefully going to plan a trip there soon together). I had fun with his family, and they all gave me the seal of approval. But it's very different -- I'm super close to my family. Sample conversation with my Mom: "We haven't talked in 3 days." "No, we talked on Friday." "Right, today's Sunday. So Friday, Saturday, Sunday, that's 3 days! Are you ignoring your Mother?" He isn't close with anyone in his family -- in fact, he talks to his Mom once every couple weeks, and although he's one of 6 siblings, he doesn't talk to any of them on a regular basis (I talk to my sister several times a week). But I get the feeling that he's jealous of my family, and eager to be a part of it. Rather than turned off and scared by it, which is a super plus!!
Meanwhile, I just got back from a trip to Ft. Lauderdale, where I got to spend time with my TWO sisters -- my older (and much wiser) sister, and my 2 year-old half-sister. Yup, you read that correctly. My dad has a 2 year-old, and recently married the baby's mother, so my older sister and I went down for the weekend to spend time with them. The baby is incredibly adorable, and smart (she clearly has our genes), and it was a fun weekend. Although when we took her trick-or-treating in the mall, and I was walking around with her, the kiosk people we went up to for candy thought that I was her Mom and not her sister (but oh well, wouldn't you assume the 30 year-old was the 2 year-old's Mom, too?).
So anyway, all of this is very exciting -- I think it signals how we are moving along in our relationship. My dad got to hear a lot about him while I was in Florida over the weekend and seems eager to meet him as well (and warned me that S will probably fall in love with B'ham, which does seem to be a possibility). I'm looking forward to this weekend with my Mom, I think they will get along, but looking forward to Thanksgiving even more. And then we are actually planning a vacation together in December!! So fun. :-D
Meanwhile, I met one of his brothers, and uncle/aunt, and some cousins a couple weeks ago. I still haven't met his Dad yet (and both his Mom and my father live in South Florida, but we are hopefully going to plan a trip there soon together). I had fun with his family, and they all gave me the seal of approval. But it's very different -- I'm super close to my family. Sample conversation with my Mom: "We haven't talked in 3 days." "No, we talked on Friday." "Right, today's Sunday. So Friday, Saturday, Sunday, that's 3 days! Are you ignoring your Mother?" He isn't close with anyone in his family -- in fact, he talks to his Mom once every couple weeks, and although he's one of 6 siblings, he doesn't talk to any of them on a regular basis (I talk to my sister several times a week). But I get the feeling that he's jealous of my family, and eager to be a part of it. Rather than turned off and scared by it, which is a super plus!!
Meanwhile, I just got back from a trip to Ft. Lauderdale, where I got to spend time with my TWO sisters -- my older (and much wiser) sister, and my 2 year-old half-sister. Yup, you read that correctly. My dad has a 2 year-old, and recently married the baby's mother, so my older sister and I went down for the weekend to spend time with them. The baby is incredibly adorable, and smart (she clearly has our genes), and it was a fun weekend. Although when we took her trick-or-treating in the mall, and I was walking around with her, the kiosk people we went up to for candy thought that I was her Mom and not her sister (but oh well, wouldn't you assume the 30 year-old was the 2 year-old's Mom, too?).
So anyway, all of this is very exciting -- I think it signals how we are moving along in our relationship. My dad got to hear a lot about him while I was in Florida over the weekend and seems eager to meet him as well (and warned me that S will probably fall in love with B'ham, which does seem to be a possibility). I'm looking forward to this weekend with my Mom, I think they will get along, but looking forward to Thanksgiving even more. And then we are actually planning a vacation together in December!! So fun. :-D
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Rebounding?
I had someone tell me recently that "it's not fair" that I was single for only a short time before finding S. Well, life isn't fair. Sorry. I got up, and moved on, and started dating again. And I went out on a bunch of first dates (and one weird group event), and then met S, and so far, things are happily ever after. So yeah, life sucks for people who are still single and I'm not. But you're right, it's not even been 7 months since J6 and I broke up, and I'm planning my future with someone else. I'm lucky.
I had someone else ask me if S was just a rebound guy. The answer is not at all. I think that J6 was actually my rebound guy. J5 broke my heart, and it took me a few months before I was ready to start dating again (in all honesty, I probably should have waited a little while longer, but I was ready to not be alone anymore). So I met J6, and he seemed nice, and he was willing to offer me companionship. And I settled for a lot of things that I shouldn't have settled for, in retrospect. Well hindsight is 20/20 -- and all my friends and family members apparently could see what I couldn't all along -- but he wasn't very nice or respectful to me all the time. He also didn't appreciate my career, or my family, or my political or religious views. He wanted me to choose to live where and how he wanted to live. He wanted me to put up with his crazy mom (who hated me, and thought I was the worst kind of spoiled JAP -- which I'm really not). And a lot of other things. And I put up with all of this for over 2 years. The actual decision to break-up was his, officially, b/c I had picked a deadline for a commitment that he wasn't ready to make. But within a couple days, I was fully accepting of the break-up and ready to move on. And when he showed up, begging for me to take him back, I was flabbergasted -- and the tables were turned. While standing in my apartment, asking for me back, he started telling me all the things that I should do better and differently. THAT'S how you win someone back?! I asked him what he expected, and he said he was expecting me to welcome him back with open arms. Funny, since while he was realizing how incredible I was and how stupid he was to leave, I had been realizing how incredible I was and how stupid I was to have stayed with him all that time. So I told him off, and that I didn't even want to stay friends. THAT was my rebound guy, I just wish I hadn't rebounded for 2+ years.
I couldn't have been in a healthier place when I met S. Not just for a relationship, I don't think, although it certainly helps to be fully healed from all prior relationships. I had finished my residency -- and while the board-studying was hard, it was nowhere near what residency hours were like. And I had chosen a fellowship that should, hopefully, be pointing me in the direction of a career path that I'm going to love -- and so far, I love most of what I'm doing in the fellowship itself. In addition, in the few months since J6, I had also expanded my horizons and made a lot of new friends in my community. I finally had a social life, I was going out and doing things with people other than the 6 friends I knew when I moved to NYC and the people I spent 80 hours a week with in the hospital. (People kept asking if I had just moved to the UWS, and I sometimes would answer "yes," since I basically didn't exist in this community for the 3 previous years I had lived here.) I had moved to a fabulous new apartment, and it makes a difference to come home to a place where you can turn around without bumping into yourself, and see the sky and the skyline and the trees. And I physically felt good -- headaches that I didn't know had been bothering me for some time until they went away, had gone away, and I had lost some weight that I'd gained during residency and just felt good about myself.
So S isn't, by any means, a rebound guy. He's just the right guy. :-D
I had someone else ask me if S was just a rebound guy. The answer is not at all. I think that J6 was actually my rebound guy. J5 broke my heart, and it took me a few months before I was ready to start dating again (in all honesty, I probably should have waited a little while longer, but I was ready to not be alone anymore). So I met J6, and he seemed nice, and he was willing to offer me companionship. And I settled for a lot of things that I shouldn't have settled for, in retrospect. Well hindsight is 20/20 -- and all my friends and family members apparently could see what I couldn't all along -- but he wasn't very nice or respectful to me all the time. He also didn't appreciate my career, or my family, or my political or religious views. He wanted me to choose to live where and how he wanted to live. He wanted me to put up with his crazy mom (who hated me, and thought I was the worst kind of spoiled JAP -- which I'm really not). And a lot of other things. And I put up with all of this for over 2 years. The actual decision to break-up was his, officially, b/c I had picked a deadline for a commitment that he wasn't ready to make. But within a couple days, I was fully accepting of the break-up and ready to move on. And when he showed up, begging for me to take him back, I was flabbergasted -- and the tables were turned. While standing in my apartment, asking for me back, he started telling me all the things that I should do better and differently. THAT'S how you win someone back?! I asked him what he expected, and he said he was expecting me to welcome him back with open arms. Funny, since while he was realizing how incredible I was and how stupid he was to leave, I had been realizing how incredible I was and how stupid I was to have stayed with him all that time. So I told him off, and that I didn't even want to stay friends. THAT was my rebound guy, I just wish I hadn't rebounded for 2+ years.
I couldn't have been in a healthier place when I met S. Not just for a relationship, I don't think, although it certainly helps to be fully healed from all prior relationships. I had finished my residency -- and while the board-studying was hard, it was nowhere near what residency hours were like. And I had chosen a fellowship that should, hopefully, be pointing me in the direction of a career path that I'm going to love -- and so far, I love most of what I'm doing in the fellowship itself. In addition, in the few months since J6, I had also expanded my horizons and made a lot of new friends in my community. I finally had a social life, I was going out and doing things with people other than the 6 friends I knew when I moved to NYC and the people I spent 80 hours a week with in the hospital. (People kept asking if I had just moved to the UWS, and I sometimes would answer "yes," since I basically didn't exist in this community for the 3 previous years I had lived here.) I had moved to a fabulous new apartment, and it makes a difference to come home to a place where you can turn around without bumping into yourself, and see the sky and the skyline and the trees. And I physically felt good -- headaches that I didn't know had been bothering me for some time until they went away, had gone away, and I had lost some weight that I'd gained during residency and just felt good about myself.
So S isn't, by any means, a rebound guy. He's just the right guy. :-D
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